True Friends by Lorenzo Moscato
The darkness comes and swallows me up on a regular basis these days. Doc tells me to use it, feed off of it, helps my writing. I dunno what to say to that. I tell him that it’s difficult to do, I can’t keep coming to this place. Every time I do, a piece of me gets ripped away. I feel lost, alone, struggling within my own mind to make sense of all the craziness going on around me. Like, just the other day, I was sitting in my room, watching the news on TV, and there was another murder, another kid got slaughtered in some ritualistic fashion, and instead of being freaked out by it…I laughed. I don’t know why I laughed, I’m not sure why I thought it was funny, but the thought of murder is just funny to me. Everything’s a joke, even the things that shouldn’t be.
Doc tells me my writing is getting better, that my characters are getting more and more…realistic. He says that my muse is helping me, whatever the hell that means. I think he’s talking about the weird writing in my journals that only he can see. Apparently, there’s someone else writing in here other than myself, but I can’t see it like it’s invisible or whatever.
I’m here…
He thinks it’s ‘cool’ or something, like I’m using the journals as ways of expressing myself, of creating my world of horrors. He doesn’t get it though, about the dark place.
In the dark…
The last time I went there wasn’t a pretty thing…
Don’t listen…
I gave in to despair and just couldn’t deal with the fact I have no friends, none at all. I moved countries and literally have no one to help me through this crap except for some dollar store version of a therapist that I could afford.
I’m always here for you…
I started writing because Doc suggested it would be a great way to cope. I mean I guess it does, but I really wish I could have a friend…a true friend, someone that I could count on to listen to my problems, to hear my cries for help. Someone that’ll support me and prop me up when…when…
Say it…
When I have the nightmares…the weird dreams where I’m killing someone. Someone like…
SAYITSAYITSAYIT
…like that kid I saw on the news the other day.
I am your true friend…no one else will ever understand you…come to the dark…I’m waiting here for you…
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