B-MOVIE BLOCKBUSTERS: Nightbeast
BACK OF THE VHS BLURB:
After a spaceship crash lands, the Admiral Ackbar looking beast goes on a rampage, disintegrating people with his laser gun or disemboweling them. After several unsuccessful attempts to kill the beast, it pays the town's drunken mayor and mistress a visit, tearing them to pieces. Our hero, white afro cop, finally figures out that a crudely built electric wire fence is the trick, and after its shoddy design kills more townsfolk, it finally does defeat the alien menace and its sweet spacesuit.
So...WTF did I just watch?
MOVIE: Nightbeast
YEAR: 1982
DIRECTOR: Don Dohler
CAST: Donald Leifert, Tom Griffith, George Stover, and Jamie Zemeral.
Ok, here we go. This one was beyond amazing. With a high cheese factor but a solid amount of action, this movie really hits the B-movie spot. We start with a spaceship flying in space and getting hit by a meteor, then crashing. All the rednecks in town see it, and make sure to tell everyone near them they saw it as well. Word gets back to our hero, white afro cop Sheriff Cinder, who reluctantly goes to check it out. The townsfolk all head up there, armed as well, which I guess is protocol for unknown lights in the sky in this rural town.
The first scuffle between the alien and the welcoming committee ends poorly for the home team, with half the rugged militia being vaporized by the alien's endless stream of laser blasts. After a retreat, the alien finds some uncle out driving with his nephew and niece late a night. Weird, right? We never find out what lead to them being out there, as uncle is mauled and the kids are disintegrated along with the family station wagon. Brutal. This alien shoots firsts and makes gurgling sounds later.
The police then head back to town to regroup and try to stop the drunk ass mayor from having a pool party with the state senator. The mayor doesn't buy the story, but Sheriff Fro still evacuates the town. Then we meet the resident badass, Drago (not Russian). He tells our hero to fuck off and drives away on his motorcycle to get back on his domestic assault schedule.
The next move is to try to disarm this alien, whose unlimited round laser gun is doing work. After contacting Old Man Marksman, they have a shootout in the field where after some more casualties, the alien is disarmed. This doesn't stop the alien though, as he seamlessly transitions into the disembowelment stage of his attacks.
Our heroes find their way to the swagtastic pool party of their drunk Mayor, and lie their way into getting everyone to bail, including the now pissed the fuck off Senator. Drunk Mayor finds that the only way to deal with this is more alcohol, and Sheriff Cinder and his crew head off to tackle the beast head on.
Back to Drago, who gets back to his place, beats up his girl, and leaves. Turns out one of Sheriff Cinder's right-hand men, Steven, is also in love with Drago's girl. In a scene of sheer coincidence, just after Drago leaves, he see's the Sheriff and Steven pull up to the house. He waits like a creeper and watches Steven enter and leave in mere seconds, enough time to tell Drago's girl to get out while she can. Drago returns to his place just as the heroes drive away and strangles his girl. This guy is a dick.
The alien has found his way to the mansion of the drunkest Mayor in America, and gets to killing. First is the mistress, who chased a few sounds until she got a claw to the chest, and then the Mayor also gets introduced to our bad boy. In a great and terrible scene, the Mayor gets his head ripped off by the beast, but my goodness, his face changes dramatically just before its torn off. Must have been fear.
After running low on options, it is concluded that maybe electricity is the alien's weakness. The Sheriff and Steven rig up the most unsafe electric fence possible. Seriously. Steven has to hold the fence in place. None of this was thought through at all, and the code violations were rampant. As they lure the beast in, Drago makes one last appearance, trying to get his strangle on again with Sheriff Cinder's lady cop/friend/lover/person. He gets distracted by the best afro on duty, and after a struggle where Drago has a clear advantage, lady cop lover blows a hole in him with a shotgun blast. Fuck off, Drago.
The alien finally arrives and walks right into the shitty trap they have set. As expected, its not working fully, and they have to increase the voltage. Steven makes the call, and is electrocuted to death (and They Live?), but his sacrifice kills the alien. Sheriff Cinder and his lady cop/lover/friend embrace as the credits roll.
Overall, this movie was a blast. I was laughing, smiling, and enjoying every minute. The gore got pretty good, and they went bad, and then got good again. It was a real roller-coaster, but the ride was worth it at the end. This is a great film for any alien marathon night, or if you've got a thing for laser gun fire sound effects. Also give the score a good listen, as it was J.J. Abrams first movie gig at age fifteen, so there's some trivia to take home as well as you enjoy this B-MOVIE BLOCKBUSTER.
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