Bud's Pet Series: Gilbert
Okay, let’s make sure I have everything I need. A couple of Red Bulls, a package of Swedish Fish, chicken flavored Cup O Noodles, phone on Do Not Disturb, Spotify’s Brain Food deep focus for studying playlist and two Adderall that I got from that shady guy in my physics class. Everything I need to knock out this paper in the next six hours. Sure, I could have worked on it for the past six weeks but Adderall exists so why not procrastinate? Let’s do this.
I cranked the music and started hammering away at the keys, a couple hundred words and the Red Bull started to kick in, a couple hundred later and the Adderall did too. My fingers seemed to move on their own, pecking on the keys, my thoughts almost faster than I could think them. The combination of sugar, caffeine and the wonders of big pharma unlocked corridors in my mind that I didn’t even know existed. Knowledge I didn’t recall learning was unleashed and spread onto the once empty Word document like Bob Ross spreading titanium white on a snow covered mountain peak. Data and statistics poured out like a fire hose, any data that I questioned, its validity was easily fact checked with a quick jump to Google where my Adderall focused brain quickly shifted through hyperlink after hyperlink looking for the proper source.
A thousand words and my fingers had no intention of stopping. Two thousand and they were just getting warmed up. Three thousand and I hadn’t yet cracked the second Red Bull. The rhythmic beating of the bass drum in my headphones made the intense focus stronger, I was in the zone. For how long? Who knows, I minimized the task bar on my computer long ago. All I knew was the sun wasn’t up yet, which meant I had work to do. Four thousand words and I popped a handful of Swedish Fish in my mouth. Six thousand words and I cracked that second Red Bull, let’s go! I was nearing the end, I presented my hypothesis, laid out all my evidence, cited my sources and was getting ready to drop the bomb of all scientific conclusions and-
“Hey! Gilbert!” My roommate, Tommy patted me on my shoulder, breaking my focus and scaring the living hell out of me. I jumped up from my seat, my head smashed into the shelf above my head causing the cheap Ikea shelf to collapse sending my fish bowl with my Betta fish “Jaws” crashing down onto my laptop. The water hit the keyboard and sparks cracked from the power cord before the whole room went black and all my work was gone.
“What the hell Tommy!” I couldn’t believe this idiot would sneak up on me and scare me like that, “dude! Everything is ruined! My laptop is wrecked, the shelf is broken, my whole paper for Crowley’s class is wiped and my fish is now fish fry! Dude what were you thinking!?”
“Fi-fish!” Tommy just stood there stammering with a horrified look on his face, his back pressed against the wall as he fumbled for the door handle “Your-your…fish!”
“Yeah, my fish! It’s fried, just like me when I don’t get this paper-” I turned back toward my ruined work and was stopped mid-sentence at the unbelievable sight in front of me. My fish was floating four feet off the ground, a soft blue light encircling it. Like Tommy, I began to stammer as I walked backwards and tried to reach for the door handle as well. That’s when we heard the voice.
“HUMAN! YOU HAVE IMPRISONED ME FOR TOO LONG, NOW YOU WILL BE MY SERVANT, YOU WILL NOW DO MY BIDDING.” The deep rumbling voice rattled inside my brain. I heard the words, but they were coming from inside my head.
“What the f-” Tommy whispered before grabbing the lamp on the nightstand next to the bed and drawing it back to swat the fish out of the air. His body locked mid-swing, his teeth were clenched together as he moaned in agony. In an instant, his head exploded sending blood, brain matter and chunks of skull flying everywhere in the small dorm room. His body collapsed on the ground and once again the deep rumbling voice spoke to me from inside my head.
“NOW YOU HAVE SEEN A GLIMPSE OF MY POWER! BETRAY ME HUMAN AND YOUR FATE WILL BE THE SAME, DO MY BIDDING AND I OFFER YOU SAFETY IN THE NEW WORLD I WILL CREATE,” the small purple Betta fish began to float towards me, the pale blue glow encircling it grew brighter and brighter, “DO WE HAVE AN ACCORD HUMAN?”
I nervously nodded my head yes as the Betta had now become the alpha.
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