Lousy Lottery #6 - Motel Hell
Welcome, friends, to the Lousy Lottery! Here’s how it works. First, I post four movies to a poll on Twitter. Fans vote to pick which movie to make me watch that week. I watch it, review it and spread the word about an amazingly awful, terribly terrific b-horror flick.
This is week six! You picked a movie I have loved as long as I can remember. A movie whose poster I had on my bedroom wall as a kid. When I worked with Alamo Drafthouse to start Weird Wednesday, this movie was the first one! I’m talking about the one, the only: Motel Hell! It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters!
Motel Hell is a weird, wild, wacky horror-comedy. It was so early to the horror-comedy game that some of the cast and crew didn’t even know it was a comedy. In fact, star and western icon Rory Calhoun thought it was a serious picture and even sued when he realized it was marketed as a comedy. Not sure how he missed that, given the script, but it shows just how novel the concept of a silly horror movie was at the time. In the ‘70s, horror was heavy and gory and definitely not a laughing matter. Motel Hell came out in 1980 and was produced while Hollywood’s minds were still uptight and in the ‘70s. Thanks to movies like this and studios like Troma, the ‘80s ushered in an era full of goofy horror full of jokes and lighthearted fun. Let’s take a look at the laughable plot.
Farmer Vincent and his sister, at least I think it’s his sister, Ida run a ‘farm’ where they process meat into all sorts of forms and sell them. They are renowned for their wonderful sausages, jerkies and fritters. What is their secret? How do they keep their meat so tender? Well, they’ll never tell, but I can. See, they’ve figured out that a mixture of human and hog is a recipe for succulence. They set traps to blow the tires off motorists. Then Vincent and Ida scoop them up, cut out their vocal chords and bury them to their necks in soil. They tube feed them a special mixture and keep them in a hypnotized trance. Somehow this all adds up to some delicious dishes. Look for one of the first screen credits for John Ratzenberger (Cheers, every Pixar movie) who plays a tough biker type with one of the worst fake mustaches in the history of cinema.
Enter yet another unsuspecting motorist who falls into the trap set by Motel Hell. This time it’s a young couple and the woman survives the crash unscathed. For an unexplained reason, Vincent decides to spare her and let her live at the hotel. Does she question where her boyfriend went? No, not really. Does she ask to leave or even try to call anyone? Nope. Does she inexplicably just accept her situation and acts totally at home at this hotel that isn’t a hotel? You bet she does. She, Terry, enjoys the bucolic life on the farm and it seems Vincent, Ida and even their brother, at least I think it’s their brother, who is a cop falls in love with Terry. She loves them right back and what follows is a weird side plot of her becoming engaged to Vincent and a bunch other weird shit.
She soon discovers, though not nearly soon enough, that this place and these people are weird as hell. She also accidentally stumbles onto what their doing to make those meaty treats. Now, she transitions from odd Stockholm Syndrome victim to final girl. Vincent doesn’t take too kindly to this transition. He snaps, dons a pig head and a chainsaw and wants blood! Will she survive? Will she rescue her boyfriend? Wait, where is that boyfriend anyway?
Now, with that description, I can actually see how Calhoun may have thought it was a straight piece. The comedy of this flick really comes from the plot, yes, but also from execution. For example, there are a number of scenes of gratuitous nudity done in the style of movies like Airplane! For example, there is a scene where the police officer brother breaks up a bunch of folks making out in their cars. Rather than everyone just peel out of there or run off, a nude woman jumps out the car, runs perfectly into the beams of the officer’s headlights and runs in place in confusion before finally running off. It’s so silly, so unnecessary that it serves as a quick gag in the middle of a scene. Shots like that add to the goofiness of the movie overall.
The plot and script do too, though, which I imagine is part of why Calhoun’s suits were later dropped. For example, it seems clear the Ida character is supposed to be a young woman, but she’s played by someone who looks like they’re in their ‘50s. she wears pigtails and overalls and talks like a little girl, but with a voice that sounds like a diner waitress with thirty years experience at two packs of Camels a day. Also, how is their brother a cop and he never comes wise to any of it? I mean, seriously? So many of the choices in this movie are goofy and funny like that. The weird sister, who quite often seems to flirt with Vincent, the know nothing cop, the far too accepting Terry, it all paints a lighthearted scene.
That’s not even commenting on the victims and meats. One cute, pastoral family after another unwittingly chomps down their friends and neighbors. The way they gush over how delicious it is cracks me up every time. The overacting and horrendous wig and make up work on the victims is comedy gold too. How does one get attention when the overwhelming majority of their screen time is just their head poking out of the ground? I guess one way is to chew the scenery up until there’s nothing left! How could any of them take it seriously while wearing a fake beard that looks like it was put on by a local high school student?
Although it may have been a novel approach, Motel Hell does a great job of blending scares and laughs and it clearly set the blueprint for later great films in the sub-genre like Tucker and Dale versus Evil. Audiences and critics clicked with it back then, even. It made back double its budget and actually got good reviews. Roger Ebert gave it three stars and said, "What Motel Hell brings to this genre is the refreshing sound of laughter.”
In the end, is this movie a cinematic classic? No. Is it well acted? No, no it isn’t. Is the story at least good? Not really. Is it a bizarre, gory, hilarious blast? Hell yeah it is! Motel Hell is what it sets out to be, a fun time. If a fun time is what you’re after, you’ll find it down at the ol’ hotel off Route 50. Stop on in and have a bit of jerky or two. Nothing beats Farmer Vincent’s meats!
Don’t forget to see what’s coming next in the Lousy Lottery. Make sure you tune into Twitter later today and vote for Lousy Lottery 6! My handle is @MrJosh79, look for it and don’t forget to vote!
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