Whiter - A Short Story by Samantha Krewulak
She wanted her teeth to be white like all the Hollywood stars. Every ad she saw had someone smiling widely with snow-white perfection. Even her friends all seemed to have bright, shining teeth. It’s not like she was unhygienic; in fact, she brushed her teeth twice a day with whitening toothpaste and never forgot to floss or rinse. It all seemed for naught, as what she possessed was of the unacceptable, yellowish-hue variety.
She finally managed to save up enough money at her minimum-wage job to get the procedure done at a dentist who offered low prices. It was the ‘home office’ of Dr. Glenn Johnson, which ended up being a hole-in-the wall found in the less-savoury part of town, but luckily, she already lived in the neighbourhood and it was easy to get to from her apartment. It was coming time for her appointment, and she could not have been more excited. Her life was going to change. Opportunities would finally open up to her that had previously been hidden by an alienating, off-white curtain.
At the office, which was actually just this man’s home, there were no assistants, just the dentist. He told her that she might experience some sensitivity after the procedure. She nodded and smiled without showing her teeth, stating that it would be worth It. He shrugged and quickly assembled together the items he needed in a room similar to an office next to his own kitchen. She sat there, feeling a little odd being in a stranger’s home, but knew this was all she could afford. So she began day-dreaming of smiling with her teeth showing, affecting everyone she met and finally making an impression.
Dr. Johnson returned to where she was seated in his living room, and hurriedly ushered her into the ‘office’ which held the dentist chair and his props and ingredients. He was moving quite quickly, but she didn’t mind. The sooner it was over for both of them, the sooner she would be a new woman. He gestured towards the dentist’s chair in the middle of the room and told her to be seated. The minute she rested her head back in the chair, he was upon her with gloved hands, opening her mouth and using clamps to keep her lips off her teeth and gums. He reached for a small brush, dipped it into a bowl he had on a small table nearby, and then began painting a strong-smelling, clear substance onto her teeth. She could feel it splattering her gums a little. It burned a bit, but she felt that meant it was working. Like a good, alcohol-based mouthwash. She was getting jittery with the anticipation. While patiently waiting for him to be done, she noticed a framed picture on his wall with Dr. Johnson and what appeared to be his wife and son. The glass was cracked, but the picture was still up. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the ring-finger on his left hand. Through the gloves, she could see a white band of skin where a wedding ring had once been. She felt a pang of pity, but he had a job to do and money to make like everyone else, so she trusted his ability to complete her requested procedure nonetheless.
He continued to paint her teeth and some of her gums, and she began to wonder about the standardized tooth-whitening procedures available. Was that how it was always done? The brush looked like a painter’s brush and he hadn’t taken it from a sanitizing solution – it was just there on the table when she arrived. She immediately shut off her worrying thinking and forced herself to find her happy place while he finished coating her teeth. She imagined that she was walking downtown, getting eyed-up by women and men alike, who beamed at her as she walked confidently, smiling at everyone. There was no greater pleasure than being noticed in a positive light by people you’ve never met.
Dr. Johnson had been done painting for a while now and she vaguely remembered nodding as he told her it needs to sit and sink in. She had almost drifted off with her eyes open, entranced by the dreams awaiting her just beyond Dr. Johnson’s front door. She became alert and was overcome by the feeling that she was alone in the house. The sunlight on the floor had moved all the way across the room. How strange. Her teeth felt different and her gums were actually full-on burning. She called to him the best she could with her lips clamped, but heard no response. She started feeling alarmed when suddenly Dr. Johnson appeared out of the hallway, smiling and wiping his mouth with a napkin. He apologized for leaving her alone so long and told her she was done. He removed the clamps from her lips and told her to rinse her mouth with a small cup of liquid that smelled like the stuff with which he had painted her teeth. She took the cup gratefully, tossed back the liquid, swished, and smiled. So close to being done!
She sat up and felt her whole mouth burning now. Unsure of the results, she asked him how long before that sensation would subside. He told her it was normal and that after a few brushings she should notice a difference. Without even looking in a mirror, she grabbed her purse and asked how much. He placed his hand on her shoulder and told her that she was his last client before retirement and that he would not charge her for this procedure. She stood there in shock and could say nothing. He told her that his life had become about giving others what they want most, so today was her lucky day. She sputtered, but could hardly contain the joy in her heart. How could this day get any better? He shepherded her out his front door while she still had her hand in her purse.
Once outside, it was like she was being born again. Her mouth was burning and her teeth were sore, but she couldn’t have been grinning wider. She decided that she would go downtown and take her new life for a spin.
As she walked down the busy sidewalk, her teeth were the main attraction. People were looking at her and even turning to watch her go. It was all she wanted. Feeling outrageously good, she decided to blow her paycheque and the money she was going to spend on her teeth on something expensive and fashionable. She was a new woman, after all. She went into a Louis Vuitton store and bought herself a purse she’d seen one of her favourite celebrities carrying around in a magazine. She had never felt so important, and in all the excitement she didn’t notice that her mouth was bleeding. By the time she got home, it was well past dark and she was high on her newly gained self-esteem.
She went into the bathroom and finally looked into the mirror to see what everyone else was seeing. It was grotesque. Her gums were flaming red, there was blood lining every tooth and they were almost brown. When she touched her tongue to one of her front teeth, it had loosened enough to move. Her eyes blurred with tears, which made her visage suddenly appear like the Joker from Batman and she screamed into the mirror. She ran out of her apartment without evening closing the door or putting on shoes. She raced to Dr. Johnson’s home, her mouth an open and throbbing wound. She was grinding her teeth to try and keep her lips closed and in their softness, they were slowly crushing themselves into her melted gums. By the time she made it to his home, she was sobbing and drooling blood and bits of her own teeth onto her chin. She slammed her fists on the door, to no avail. She tried the doorknob and it was open. She burst inside screaming incoherently and she tripped on something large, landing face-first onto his living room floor, knocking out a few more of her already loose-teeth. When she got up, she found a light switch that showed the bloody mess she had left on the floor, and what she had tripped on. There was Dr. Johnson, on the floor and white as a sheet. Next to him was an empty bottle of household bleach and a note addressed to his wife that read, “I hope your handsome new husband makes you and our son as happy as you deserve.”
She couldn’t stop crying now. She had never seen a dead body. She had never seen so much of her own blood. All she could focus on was the fact that the smell of the household bleach was what he had used on her teeth and mouth. He had ended his own life and hers. There had to be something in his home that could fix her. She went into his kitchen and found a cabinet full of dental tools and items. Her eyes landed on a pile of needles and a bottle of anesthetic. It was like a glowing beacon in the night. She was sweating from the pain in her mouth now and shakily stabbed one of the needles into the bottle of anesthetic, drawing enough to fill the whole needle. She took the bottle and the needle with her to his bathroom and could barely look herself in the face as she injected it into her bleeding, slimy gums. She injected half of the needle’s contents into the top left side of her gums, then the other into the top right. She stabbed the needle back into the bottle with so much rage, she broke the needle tip off. She shrieked in frustration and ran back into his kitchen for a second needle. She filled the new needle with anesthetic and returned to the bathroom to inject both lower halves of her gums. Once done, she angrily wiped her tear-filled eyes and forced herself to stare at her face, at her mouth. She stood there, imagining the faces of strangers contorting with disgust as she passed them in the street, no longer accepting her as one of their own, no longer admiring her.
Her mouth and face were entirely numb by the time she came back to reality. She was sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth. She’d forgotten about the body in the living room and was now fixated on the brilliant whiteness of the porcelain toilet. Now that she had no feeling in her mouth, she stood up with resolution and began pulling her teeth out of her mushy gums, one by one, some squishing between her fingers like rotten potatoes. Once all her own teeth were out, she took the lid off the top of the toilet and smashed it on the counter. She was no longer angry, but eager to get the smile she had spent her youth and barely-started adulthood yearning for. She broke the shattered porcelain lid into smaller pieces and carefully assembled them on the counter to resemble a jagged top and bottom set of disembodied, bright, white teeth. Once satisfied with the shape of each ‘tooth’ she began inserting them into her unfeeling gums until there were no pieces left on the counter. She rinsed her mouth under the tap to clear some of the blood away, long enough to see the sparkly white tines she now possessed catching the light in the mirror. Once the blood stopped flowing, her teeth would be whiter, she would be whole again.
She walked through the house and stepped over Dr. Johnson, not seeing him anymore. She was re-doing her day. It was as though she had only just now finished her appointment with the world-renowned dentist, the good Dr. Johnson. He had given her a free procedure because he was amazed at her beauty and kindness. He had even joked about how his wife might have a good reason to be worried if he kept getting patients like her. She laughed light-heartedly and blushed at the compliments. She thanked him in a feathery voice that she imagined to be gracious and seductive, and let herself out of his lovely dentist’s office. As she opened the door and walked onto the sidewalk, shoeless, the world awaited her smile with bated breath.
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