COVID-19: Social Distancing
Harold was a handyman by trade, he always had the right tool to complete the job. Since the global pandemic hit he found himself out of work and since he was an ex-con who often took jobs that paid under the table, he was not optimistic about getting any assistance from the government. Desperate for money, he took any job he could get, even if that meant working for his former cellmate Andy. The two had spent five years in State Prison, a place where there is no chance for....
SOCIAL DISTANCING
The old panel van roared loudly as it barreled down the darkened country road. Andy told me he had a job for me that was “easy fuckin’ money”. Sure, I needed the money, but I really hated this prick.
“I hope they have lights at the job site.” I yelled over the roaring muffler of the panel van and the fully open window that Andy blew his cigarette smoke out of. Night time was a strange time for a construction job.
“Don’t worry Big Harry, it’ll be fine,” no one called me ‘Big Harry’, not since I was locked up, but Andy still had that jailhouse mentality, “I told you, easy fuckin’ money.”
I swear to God if this asshole is bringing me to do some illegal shit I’ll beat his ass. He knew me when I was young and stupid, back when I thought the best way to make money was to take it out of other peoples pockets by force, but I don’t do that shit any more. I’m clean and sober, I do everything by the book now, no more runnin’ the streets for me. I have a daughter to care for and a wife at home.
I met her at a rehab when I first got out and she instantly became the light of my life. They would get up at group meetings and preach the gospel and speak of God’s strength to cure you of addiction, I guess they were right because this angel saved me and blessed me with a little blue eyed girl that’s just the cutest thing in the world.
“Alright, here we are!” Andy said as he flicked his cigarette out the open window, put the van in park and jumped out.
“This is it?” It was dark, I couldn’t make out exactly where I was but based on the headstones, I knew I was in a cemetery. I jumped out the van and slammed the door behind me. I turned and found Andy two feet from me in the darkness.
“Okay, Big Harry, before we get started there’s just one thing I gotta make clear,” Andy explained as he looked ahead into the darkness, rubbing his hands together, “can’t be telling people what we're doing out here okay?”
“What the fuck! Is this some illegal shit man? I ain't going back to jail.” at this point, I’m pissed.
“No, no, no man. The government is the one who’s paying us…just…it’s some, you know, covert type shit.” Covert type shit? We’re ex-cons not spies, what the hell was he talking about? He continued, “look, COVID is bad, real bad, but not as bad as they thought it would be, so, interested parties in the government have been fudging the number, you know, adding more deaths…”
“Man what the fuck are you talking about? What’s this gotta do with-” I wasn’t believing this shit, I tried to ask but he cut me off and his tone got more serious.
“Look man, they are taking people who died from other things and counting them as COVID. If there is an official autopsy, there is an official cause of death, so instead they give the bodies to me and a couple of other dudes and we take them to the cemetery and bury them. Once the body is buried everyone kind of moves on because it costs too much to exhume and all that.”
“This is sick man, this is fucked up” I knew there was something with the body counts that didn’t add up. I always heard they were exaggerating the numbers but I couldn't believe it.
“Look, all you gotta do is dig the fucking hole and we get paid!” Andy said poking his finger into my chest to add punctuation to each word.
“Whatever man, just this one time since I’m already out here, but don’t call me for this shit no more.” I needed the money, how bad could it be? Just dig the fucking hole right?
Andy fumbled for the keys in his coat pocket and we walked to the back of the van. He unlocked the doors and when he opened the back my jaw dropped to the floor.
“An-Andy wh-what the fuck?” I stammered “They’re fucking alive!” There in the back of the van bound and gagged, squirming and struggling in fear were three men and four women. Their eyes filled with terror as they stared at me and a grinning Andy, “No no no man, I was all good with digging a hole for a dead body, but they are fucking alive. I’m not killing nobody!”
“No we're not gonna kill em,” Andy said before turning his attention to the seven naked people piled in the back of the panel van “We’re just here to bury the bodies.”
The group of people in unison let out muffled screams through the duct tape covering their mouths. This was fucked up, I had to get out of here. I turned away from Andy, stuffing my hand into my coat pocket to pull out my phone and dial 911. Then I heard the sound of a hammer of a pistol being pulled back and I turned to see Andy pointing a shiny chrome revolver in my face.
“Look Big Harry,” he said quietly, “dig the fucking hole.”
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