Tales from the Trailer Episode 1: Bitch Bear
Tales from the Trailer
Season 1 Episode 1
Bitch Bear
By Johnny Walker Ranger
Cue the song Blind by Korn.
Welcome to the first episode of Tales from the Trailer hosted by the best host every to host--me, Johnny Walker Ranger. I am gonna bring you some of the darkest, most outlandish, horror and horror comedy stories while I sit here in my silver Airstream and get shitfaced. These amazing tales will be told by me and some of the other dumb authors at Horror Bound. So, think Tales from the Crypt meets The Last Drive In and that is pretty much what all you dumb asses should expect.
Grab your drinks boys and girls, and gather 'round my nook here in the trailer. It is time to get started with our first story. Today's feature is titled Bitch Bear and is about a pissed off little girl who goes to a Build-a-Bear store for her birthday.
Revenge is sometimes a dish best served...furry.
#
Once upon a time, there was a pissy, crabby little girl named Amanda. Amanda was nine years old going on ten. She hated people and kept to herself. In fact, there wasn’t much Amanda did like. She didn’t care for school and couldn’t stand interacting with the other kids. They were all stupid, especially the other girls. All they did was play dumb games and make fun of everyone. The boys were mean too, and she wanted to shove her foot so far up their asses, they would choke on her big toe.
But there were some things she did like.
Amanda loved to sit in her room and read horror comics. She also liked to draw demented pictures of all the kids in her school getting shitckicked by some psycho or grotesque monster.
Today, Amanda was more pissed off than usual. It was her birthday, which meant her parents were going to take her to do something she hated. Last year they took her to some fru-fru cupcake place. Amanda got all bent out of shape, but she didn’t act out. Instead, she went to the bathroom, took the cupcake wrapper, and wiped her ass with it. When she was done, she put it back around her half-eaten cupcake and gave it to her mother.
This year her mom was taking her to the stupid fucking Build-A-Bear workshop, where she would have to make some sissy teddy bear. She was going to be ten. Why the fuck does a ten-year-old need a teddy bear? Oh sure, some of her pussy little friends still slept with that crap, but not Amanda.
Amanda was in her room dumping her schoolbooks on the floor when she heard her mother call.
“Amanda, come on honey. We need to go to the mall so we can do your Build-A-Bear.”
The very phrase ‘Build-A-Bear” grated Amanda’s nerves like a cheese grater on your privates.
“Coming, Mah,” Amanda called out. She put on a black t-shirt and blue jeans, along with a pair of red converse sneakers. She picked up her math book and chucked it at the closet door. “Fucking pussy little bear bullshit. Why the hell do I have to go do all this sissy girl crap? It’s my birthday, dammit.” Amanda stormed out her room and shuffled down the hall reluctantly.
And there was her mother, Gloria.
She gawked at Amanda, placed a hand on her hip, and said, “Amanda, your hair is a mess. Brush it or put it in a ponytail.”
Amanda scowled. “Mah, I don’t want to. There's nothing wrong with it!”
Gloria tried to run her fingers through it, but Amanda jerked away. “Stop it, Mah.”
“Take this and fix it,” Gloria said and handed Amanda a hairband.
Amanda curled her lip and put her blonde hair in a ponytail. "There, is that better?" she said.
"Yes," Gloria said with a scowl. "And your attitude is atrocious. You better tame that sassy tongue or there will be no birthday fun."
Amanda breathed in deep and exhaled. Birthday fun, she thought. Fun? What would be fun is everyone leaving me alone. Out loud, she said, "Fine Mah,"
"Good," Gloria said and adjusted her skirt. "Let's go."
Amanda followed her mother out the house and to the car. They strapped in and went to Build-A-Bear.
#
Amanda shuffled into the Build-A-Bear store with a disgusted pout. She crossed her arms and watched all the little douche bag kids foam at the mouth over a stuffed, piece of shit bear.
‘Bunch of tools,” Amanda mumbled.
“What’s that, dear?" Gloria asked and looked down at her daughter.
“Nothing, Gloria. Let’s build a piss ant bear,” Amanda said.
Gloria grabbed Amanda by the back of the arm. “I don’t know what your deal is, young she-bitch, but you better reel it in or you will go home with that bear hanging halfway out your ass, got it?”
Amanda poked her lip out. “Fine. I will build a bear. But I’m making it how I want.”
“That’s fine. I don’t care. Drop the attitude and be thankful that we get to do such a fun activity for your birthday,” Gloria said and held out her hand. “Now, come on.”
Amanda grabbed her mother’s hand. Fun activity, my ass, she thought.
Gloria and Amanda stepped up to the line. Amanda picked out a brown bear and stuffed it. She hated all the shitty little sound things, so she passed on those. Amanda browsed for a minute then made her decisions. Once she had her bear finished, she picked out some clothes for her. And yes, the bear was a she. If Amanda was going to build a fucking bear, she was going to make it the friend she always wanted.
Amanda picked out a black vest, red converse shoes, and a black bracelet with chrome spikes for the bear’s neck and wrist. She also grabbed a little, pink bow for her hair. Her mom paid for all the shit, and they got in the car to drive home.
Amanda sat in the car seat and studied her bear. It was now time to deck her out with the accessories. She dressed her bear in the vest, the choker, the bracelet, the shoes, and the bow. Amanda had to admit the bear looked pretty bad ass.
“Thanks Mah," Amanda said and held up her creation. "I really like the bear.”
Gloria glanced at Amanda through the rear view. “I’m glad, honey. See? You just need to give new things a chance. You’ll never know what you’ll discover.”
Discover? Amanda thought as she stared at her bear. “Yeah, Mah. Me and my bear have lots of new things to discover.” Amanda hugged her bear tight.
Gloria smiled, pleased to see her daughter happy.
When they got home, Amanda took her bear up to her room and sat it on her dresser. She stared at it.
“Hmmmm. I like this, but you’re not complete.”
Amanda snatched the bear up and placed it under her arms. She sneaked out of her room and into the garage. She rummaged around in there and found a can of pink spray paint. She removed the bow from the bear’s head.
“You need a pink mohawk,” Amanda said and sat the bear on the concrete floor then sprayed a pink stripe down its head. “Perfect.”
Amanda picked the bear up and turned it over. She stared at the back of the black vest. “Hmmm. We should write something.” Amanda set the bear down again and dug through another box. She found a can of metallic blue paint and studied the nozzle. She glanced at the stripe down her bear’s head then back at the nozzle.
“Not gonna work," she said. "The stream is too wide. I need to find something…” Amanda walked around the garage. A few moments later, she found a WD40 can with a straw shoved into the nozzle. “Yes,” she said and swiped the straw. She then stuck it on the can of metallic blue spray paint.
Amanda turned the bear over and graffitied the back of its vest. When she was done, she read the word out loud.
“Megadeth.”
Amanda returned the bow to the bear's head then put the cans back in the box. She grabbed her stuffed animal by the hand and took it back to her room. Once there, she sat it on the dresser again.
She studied her new friend. “You look so good. I need to come up with a name for you.” Amanda buttoned the bear’s vest.
“Amanda,” Gloria called from the kitchen. “Time for dinner!”
“Ugh,” Amanda hung her head. “She is just going to slop some shit on my plate and expect me to eat it.” She lifted her eyes to her bear. “The stupid bitch can’t cook.”
Amanda was hit with a moment of inspiration. She widened her eyes and dropped her jaw. “I got it!” She snatched her bear off the dresser. “I have your name!” She hoisted the bear up above her head and looked into its eyes. “Your name! Your name is Bitch Bear!”
Amanda wasn’t one hundred percent positive, but she swore she saw Bitch Bear’s eyes sparkle in delight and the lines on her mouth etch up into a smile. Amanda laid Bitch Bear on her bed and went and ate supper.
The evening turned into nightfall and it was time for Amanda to go to bed. She pulled back her covers and nestled in next to Bitch Bear. Gloria scooched the blanket up to Amanda’s chin and kissed her on the forehead.
“What did you do to your bear,” Gloria asked, laughing.
Amanda shrugged. “I don’t know. I wanted her to have a pink mohawk.
Gloria studied Amanda then the bear. “Well, she looks good. What’s her name?”
Amanda was about to say it, then caught her tongue. She knew if she told her mother the bear’s real name, she would scold her then wash her mouth out with soap.
“She-Bear,” Amanda said with a smile.
“Aww, I like it.” Gloria pinched Bitch Bear’s cheeks.
Amanda thought she saw Bitch Bear scowl.
“Mah?”
“What, hon?”
“Can I bring Bi—She-Bear to school with me tomorrow?”
“Sure, hon,” Gloria said. She kissed Amanda and Bitch Bear goodnight.
#
Amanda couldn’t stand the preppy girls. They had their glossy lip stick and perfectly styled hair. She wanted to take a big piece of shit and smear it all over their perfect face and locks. But today, none of that mattered. Today, Amanda had her true friend with her. Today, Amanda had Bitch Bear.
It was time for afternoon recess and the day had gone on without incident so far. This was odd, because by this time Amanda had usually been bullied and called mean names by some of the girls.
Amanda took Bitch Bear with her to a clover patch on the edge of the playground. She sat down and placed the stuffed animal across from her.
“Bitch Bear, do you like clovers?” Amanda asked.
Bitch Bear didn’t respond.
“I like clovers,” Amanda said. “I like to look for four-leafed ones. Will you help me?”
Bitch Bear’s paw reached out and ruffled the clover patch.
Amanda gasped. “Bitch Bear, are you…are you alive?”
There was a strong gust of wind and Bitch Bear fell on her side.
Amanda frowned. “I should have known. Stuffed bear’s don’t really come to life.” Amanda set Bitch Bear upright.
“Awww what do we have here? Amanda and her stupid bear,” a voice said from behind Amanda.
Amanda craned her neck then looked up. It was Kelly. She was accompanied with her shit squad—Denise and Julie. Kelly had the pretty blonde hair and blue eyes, complete with the latest fashion.
Amanda grabbed Bitch Bear and pulled her close. “Go away and leave me alone, Kelly. Bitch Bear is not stupid.”
The trio cackled.
“Oh, Bitch Bear!” Kelly mocked. “The only bitch around here is you.” Kelly grabbed the bear by the head.
“No!” Amanda screamed and torqued her body away from Kelly.
Julie and Denise jumped in. Julie yanked Amanda’s hair while Denise and Kelly tore Bitch Bear from Amanda’s grasp. Julie then shoved Amanda away.
“Give her back!” Amanda demanded.
“You want her,’ Kelly asked. “Then go fetch!” Kelly spat on Bitch Bear then chunked her across the playground.
“No,” Amanda cried. She jumped to her feet and ran after her bear.
“No,” Kelly mocked. She and the other girls laughed at Amanda, walking away.
With tears in her eyes, Amanda scooped up Bitch Bear and held her close. “I’m so sorry they were mean to you. It’s all my fault. If you weren’t mine, they would be nice to you. Are you okay?” Amanda held Bitch Bear up and inspected her.
“Achoo.”
Amanda paused, then blinked a few times. The sneeze seemed to come from Bitch Bear.
“You are alive!” Amanda’s face beamed. “Talk to me. Do you like clovers?”
Bitch Bear didn’t make a peep.
Amanda scrunched her face. “Hmmm. Do you like chocolate?”
Still no word from Bitch Bear.
“What about music? What type of music? I like Megadeth. Which was why I painted it on your vest.”
Bitch Bear remained silent.
Amanda shook the stuffed animal. “Talk to me, dammit! I know you are alive! Do you like anything?”
Bitch Bear raised her paw and pointed at Amanda.
Amanda’s eyes widened and every muscle in her face flexed into a joyous expression. “Me! You like me!”
Bitch Bear gave a slow nod.
Amanda hugged the bear tight. “I knew it! I knew you were alive!”
Before Amanda could investigate matters further, the bell rang. Amanda picked up Bitch Bear, and when she got back to the classroom, stuffed the bear in her backpack.
#
It was thirty minutes until school let out, but Kelly couldn’t hold her bladder any longer. She raised her hand.
“Yes, Kelly?” Mrs. Corley, the teacher, asked.
“May I go use the restroom?”
Mrs. Corley glanced at the clock then at Kelly. “Get the hall pass hanging on the hook by the door. You have five minutes.”
Kelly slid out her seat and did a powerwalk to the door, grabbed the pass, and disappeared into the hall. She jogged to the bathroom, shut the stall door, and sat down on the cold seat.
“Brrrr,” she said, then adjusted on the toilet so she could relax and pee.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
There was a knock on her stall door. Kelly gave a startled jerk, almost falling off the pisser. Then she got mad. “Whoever you are, you are so dead when I get done!” Kelly gnashed her teeth and tore off some toilet paper to wipe.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
This time the knock was harder.
Kelly jumped again, dropping the toilet paper into the bowl. “Ugh! That is it!”
“Hi ya, Kelly.”
Kelly blinked a few times, trying to let her brain register what her eyes saw. It looked a lot like Amanda’s stupid stuffed bear she chucked across the playground earlier. But stuffed animals don’t come to life. The bear was peeking its head underneath the stall door.
“It wasn’t very nice of you to throw me. Nor was it very nice to pick on Amanda,” the bear said, then stepped into the stall.
Kelly’s jaw dropped and she stammered. “I..I…”
The bear narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth, revealing sharp fangs. “No one throws me. Especially a preppy little cunt.” The bear held up a paw and extracted her claws. “And no one, I mean no one, messes with my Amanda!”
Bitch Bear leaped into the air and landed on Kelly’s face.
Kelly shrieked. She kicked her feet, grabbed the back of the bear, and yanked. Bitch Bear held on tight. Kelly struggled some more but the bear was too strong.
Bitch Bear opened her jaws and clamped down on Kelly’s nose. The cartilage made a cracking sound and blood squirted out. Kelly screamed and the bear gave a quick jerk, ripping her nose right from her face. Bitch Bear spat the bloody chunk on the floor. Kelly could taste the blood as it flowed into her gaping mouth.
The bear went for her lips next. She bit down on Kelly’s mouth with her sharp teeth and tore at Kelly’s ears with her claws. Bitch Bear chewed on the lips then spewed them into the toilet. Before Kelly could scream again, Bitch Bear sliced her throat with her claws.
“And now, for good measure,” Bitch Bear said and reached for Kelly’s eyes.
#
The hallways of the school echoed with screams as two second grade girls saw blood all over the bathroom floor. The principal, Mr. Fletcher, found Kelly’s dead body still propped up on the toilet. She was missing her nose, lips, ears, and eyes. Her face was ripped to shreds and her throat was slit.
Police and parents were called. Gloria picked up Amanda from school, frantic. She embraced her daughter.
“Thank God you are all right,” she said.
“I’m fine, Mah,” Amanda said.
Gloria helped her daughter into the car and got her buckled. Amanda placed her backpack beside her and unzipped it a tad.
Bitch Bear stared back at her with a smile.
The bear was covered in blood.
Amanda unzipped her backpack all the way.
Kelly’s eyes rested in Bitch Bear's paws.
Amanda smiled back. “I love you, Bitch Bear," Amanda said. "You’re my best friend.”
#
Well, assholes, this wraps up our first episode. Here are some things to take from tonight's tale. First, don’t be a shithead. Second, don’t raise your kids to be little shitheads. And third? If you do they might get killed by a vengeful, stuffed animal. Also, be on the lookout for more adventures with Amanda and Bitch Bear. Until next time, you stupid sonsabitches, I raise my beer to you. This is your host, Johnny Walker Ranger signing off.
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