B-Movie Blockbusters: Bog
BACK OF THE VHS BLURB:
A small town awakens a primordial monster from its slumber by reckless dynamite fishing. Local hillbillies and the fairly useless police force work together to maybe get some sort of plan together that might get rid of the creature. The whole ordeal becomes a mild inconvenience for those around, and despite the rising body count, taking any action might in fact get the movie to the end quicker than need be.
So...WTF did I just watch?
MOVIE: Bog
YEAR: 1979
DIRECTOR: Don Keeslar
CAST: Gloria DeHaven, Aldo Ray, Marshall Thompson, Leo Gordon
B-MOVIE HIGHLIGHTS:
Oh shit we are finally back and we have a winner to get us back in the swing of things! This film has to be a classic and let me tell you exactly why…
We start with some rural town with a little body of water called Bog Lake. The creativity was flowing here. In this small little secluded lake, we find a local getting into some dynamite fishing. Clearly, I'm no fisherman, but I wasn't aware that the best approach to small lake fishing was a few sticks of dynamite.
Well, after a few explosions the fisherman manages to bring in a big haul of about three fish. Putting in the hard work for sure. Unfortunately, this clever fishing strategy has also awoken a primordial beast in the bog. The fisherman is attacked off screen and the movie truly begins.
As the story stays centered on the lake, two couples have come to the lake for, well, reasons. The two men have come with the thought that some fishing, beer, and camping in a bog will excite their wives and lead to sexy tent time. Well, sorry to say, the wives are not impressed with the extensive mosquito bite options and stagnant water views. After the men try to throw some pure backwater charm on, they decided to split up for a bit in hopes of getting the girls in a better mood. This fails.
One woman is attacked, off screen, by the bog monster. After more chaos, the two men decide they are going to fight this monster, and send the other woman back to the car to be safe. What she ended up as though, was dead. Another brutal and stomach churning off screen death occurs.
The director here clearly had a plan. Show no deaths, no blood, but keep the horror there by simply alluding that some dang old nasty shit is happening, it’s just not in a spot the camera can get to though. Genius.
The coroner, and older gentlemen named Dr. Brad Wednesday, thinks it’s a tad bit odd that these ladies died with essentially no wounds, but their blood drained. So he calls in biologist Ginny Glen, a slightly younger woman who soon enough will start a budding relationship with Dr. Wednesday. Not often are two people that are able to buy off the senior menu at the pancake house the focus of the sexual tension, but again this director had a vision.
The sheriff gets involved as the men start wanting revenge, but the sheriff isn't sure of what's out there. What follows is a haphazard investigation, with the only way to gather evidence is for more people to die and for Ginny to take more samples. She constantly says she should bring it to a lab for better analysis, but that darn Dr. Wednesday has her heart. He also has a microscope and I guess that's good enough. I mean people are dying off screen at increasing rates, but hey, the heart wants what the heart wants right?
There is an old bog witch that keeps making an appearance, and we find out that the bog monster needs a lady friend to help it lay eggs, or like fertilize them, it was a bit confusing. They were figuring all this technical stuff out while also falling in love so it was a bit hard to follow the right information as it came in.
There is a great scene in here where the townsfolk confront a deputy at the local gun shop, saying they are going to buy up a bunch of ammo and get the beast themselves. The deputy basically tells them they will die, and laughs, then leaves. The whole group then quickly decides that yeah, we probably will what the fuck were we thinking, and it’s just so relatable that it really made me smile.
After the most casual police barricade breach and more deaths, we finally get to the big scene! Ginny and Dr. Wednesday decide to get it on after discussing the terror in the bog with the sheriff. We also have the only song in the entire soundtrack of the movie to make an appearance. A ‘70s ballad called Walk With Me serenades this blooming love in the golden years.
Ah yeah, there is a bog monster still killing people off screen.
Anyways, eventually they figure out a sort of foam chemical that can trap it. A final trap is set and we finally get our first look at the bog monster. The term "mascot quality" is what I would use here. The good old sheriff can't resist a fight and hurries off screen for a ferocious battle that he sadly loses. There was no reason for him to go rogue, but hey, we needed another great shot of the bog monster in action off screen.
The bog monster met its end eventually, but a small cluster of eggs had managed to get back out into the wild. I'm sure they will live a long life off screen in the bog.
This movie had the best kind of made for TV vibes and just so many silly moments I couldn't look away. Put this in your rotation right away, because it is a B-MOVIE BLOCKBUSTER!
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