Black Water - AKA Charlotte Teaches You About Crocodiles
Three cheeky monkeys sitting in a tree, teasing Mister Crocodile 'You can't catch me!' Along came Mister Crocodile quiet as can be and...SNAP SNAP SNAP...
(There will be major spoilers so skip if you don't want to be spoiled)
Christmas is over and sisters Grace and Lee are headed off with Grace's boyfriend, Adam, on a two week vacation together. There first stop is a crocodile park where we learn that there are a tone of saltwater crocodiles living in Australia and now that there's more humans than ever, it's running into a bit of a problem. But parks like this one keep them in their habitat and make it safe to interact with them.
That night Grace discovers she's pregnant but holds off on telling Adam until the time is right. Lee figures it out right away though. The next day they're headed to do some fishing on the river with a guided tour through Backwater Barrys but they've just missed the last tour. Luckily Jim, an employee, is around and offers to take them out. The group set out onto the river and find a great spot to set up shop and start fishing. Lee notices Jim carrying a gun and questions him about it. He says its just company policy to work against crocodiles but not to worry since the crocodile parks have basically got them all now.
But there's one croc who's still swimming out in the open and this one knocks over their boat, throwing the four of them into the water. Jim is immediately taken by the croc, leaving the rest to scramble up into a tree. But now they're stuck out in the middle of nowhere with an upside down boat just out of a reach and a hungry crocodile circling them.
"Someone will come looking for us." "Who Grace? Who? No one saw us leave, no one knows we're here."
Alright...so what did I love about this movie?
Honestly not a whole lot...it was sort of angering me the whole way through and my attention waned quite a bit.
I liked Grace near the end, at the beginning she sort of drove me nuts based on the decisions she would make. I really liked Adam, who seemed like the only one with his head on his shoulders...until the croc bit it off.
They used real crocodiles in the making of this film which is pretty bad ass. I don't think I could've acted with those bad boys swimming around. Terrifying shit.
What I didn't love?
The stupid decisions!!!!!!!!!! The whole time I was just screaming at them to get the fucking boat. Grace was all hell bent on climbing through the trees for some reason and Lee had a complete breakdown. Adam was the only one who was like...lets just flip the boat over and get out of here. And honestly, if they had listened to him right away...I'm sure that plan would've worked. But instead they wait hours and hours and then Adam finally gets in the water and the croc kills him. Probably cause he was starving. They should've just jumped into the boat right away - end of story.
Lee was hysterical to the point of annoyance. When Grace was screaming at her I blessed her for her patience because I would've been screaming at Lee way earlier.
It didn't feel scary because of the environment. I'm sure in real life of course it would be scary but as a viewer of a horror film it was a bit silly. The water comes up to their waist and the fucking boat was right there. It's hard to feel scared about that. And the fact that they were on a river with basically land all around...I mean...
Overall?
I didn't super love this. I will give it credit though because I got curious and learned a tone about saltwater crocodiles during the movie.
Black Water is based off of "true events"...this case being a story about two teenagers who got stuck up a tree in a flooded river while a crocodile circled the bottom of the tree after killing their friend. If anything I would say "inspired by true events" not based off of.
The movie is pretty impressive for a first timer....it's a tough location to shoot for I'm guessing. The entire film was in a tree in a river filled with crocodiles so mad props to the directors of this film - David Nerlich and Andrew Traucki.
So what did I learn about saltwater crocodiles? Well honestly I didn't even think they ate people. I thought it'd be more of a shark situation but turns out saltwater crocs are pretty viscous and will hunt and eat humans. Most attacks are territorial and there are some areas in Australia where it’s best to just completely avoid because saltwater crocs will eat the fuck out of you. It's also incredibly hard to survive an attack because they're such powerhouses. They are the largest extant terrestrial and riparian predators in the world! Males range from 11 feet to 18 feet long and on average weigh up to 1,150 pounds. These motherfuckers can take down deer, kangaroos and water buffalo!!
I'll give this movie a low score, but a high score on education! I have a new fear and respect for the saltwater crocodile and will never be stepping foot in a river again.
Don’t want to miss anything on the site? Sign up for our newsletter HERE
Want more horror movie reviews? Just search below:
