I Am Haunted By Lorenzo Moscato
So, I’m sitting here in front of my laptop, writing this, and having an extremely hard time finding the words to explain just what I want to tell you, the reader, about my life, my personal experiences, and the darkness that seems to be following me around since I was a kid. I guess I can start with this simple statement: I am haunted. Most of us, when we think of hauntings, we think of houses that have ghosts in them. Some of us know that, while that is true, it’s also true that not just domiciles, but people, can be haunted as well.
What does it mean though, when I say, ‘I am haunted’? It’s simple; I am someone experiencing something that isn’t a house, or an object that is cursed. I’ve had something following me from a very young age, something that’s not altogether human, although I have experienced the odd human ghost from time to time as well. Problem is, though, am I crazy? Am I losing my mind? Maybe it’s just my imagination running wild. That’s what I used to think when I was younger. Had to be, right? Just those late nights of watching spooky movies or reading Goosebumps novels until the wee hours of the morning.
Y’all know my writing by now, you know that I have a knack for finding the darkness. So, I’m here to tell you that that darkness I’ve written about, stories where I talked about a man in the basement that terrified my brother and I, or the boogeyman in my grandfather’s house? There’s quite a bit of fact to that fiction. I put a piece of my personal experiences in every story I write, even what Horror Bound has lovingly referred to as my ‘Journal’ series of stories. Those thoughts are my own, but of course, are works of fiction (I’m not a serial killer, promise!) But let me take you on a journey into my psyche, so you can truly understand where and how I can find the words that I use to terrify, because let me tell you this…it’s far more complicated than just making up a killer or monster…to me, these things are real. These things haunt me. These are things that go bump in the night…and they’re starting to manifest physically…even injuring me.
But let’s start with something a little more recent, something that I was going to throw into a fictional story I was going to call ‘The House’ and was going to be based on a recurring nightmare I’ve been having (as recent as the night of December 1st, 2019). It always starts the same way; my cousin, brother, and I buy a house. It’s always this huge mansion or something, and it is always in Montreal, Canada (where we’re from). The house is gorgeous, with a huge living room, a huge kitchen, plenty of bedrooms for everyone, and each bedroom has its own bathroom…definitely living in the life of luxury. I’m not sure where I got this weird idea, or why it’s the three of us…maybe it’s because we’ve always played together, or have a strong bond or something?
So, we get this big house and we start to explore it a bit. That’s when we notice that it has a basement. We decide screw it, let’s check it out. We go down there and see what looks like it could be another den or living room. It’s all set up with tile flooring, an area rug, TV, sofa, etc. Off to the side is a laundry room, and it’s huge…like the kind you’d see in a laundromat. Has a big washer, dryer, an area to fold laundry, the works. Looking around though, we see a short hallway that leads to another door. Figure that it goes to a bathroom or something, since we didn’t see one down there and it would make sense. Or maybe the garage? Anyway, for this one dream, we kind of just ignore it and go about our day setting up the new house.
That night, as we’re trying to sleep, there are noises and whispering, typical haunted house stuff. At one point my brother comes into my room and wakes me up. I listen to what he’s saying, and yeah there’s rattling and banging going on. I figure it’s my cousin, working late as usual, and go to check on him…but he’s in bed sound asleep. So, we wake him up and go to investigate. Downstairs, the house is quiet and calm. Nothing out of place, nothing in disarray.
The sounds are coming from the basement, where we had set it up as a sort of ‘Man Cave’ with a bar and a pool table, etc. As we inch towards the basement door, it swings open with such force that the handle imbeds itself in the drywall. We can hear crashing noises coming from downstairs. It was weird, because at that moment I woke up from the dream and heard crashing sounds from inside my own home. When I went to check it out, some stuff in the kitchen had been knocked over. I didn’t think much of it because I have cats…and we all know that cats are dicks…especially at night. So, I went back to bed, thinking it was my overactive imagination playing tricks on me. Never did I think that this dream would turn into something worse over the next few months…
A month goes by, two, and nothing, no nightmares or incidents in my house. Then, out of the blue, the dream comes back. Usually goes the same way, with some differences here and there, only this time we make it down the stairs into the basement. The room is completely destroyed. There are bottles smashed everywhere and the room smells like liquor. Picture frames are smashed, the TV is destroyed, sofas overturned, it’s a disaster zone. One thing stands out though as we’re cleaning up; the door down the short hallway is open.
We stop what we’re doing and immediately investigate. The door leads to a long hallway, and it smells (I actually SMELLED THIS) of dust and just…old things, as best as I can describe. We walk down and every few feet are doors that look like they open into bedrooms. There’s maybe four down there, and then a storage room that’s filled with boxes. We decide to check the rooms out, and yeah, they’re bedrooms. Except they look like they’ve been used recently. There are beds, the covers all messy, dressers and clothes, toys, posters on the walls, they reminded me of my childhood bedroom.
For some reason, we decide to sleep in one of the rooms instead of going back to our bedrooms. This is where the strange dream becomes an absolute nightmare. We go to sleep in this dusty, old room…and I hear this strange laughter. When I look up, I see what looks like a shadow, but it’s darker, moves with meaning…and takes shape. It has skin that looks oily black, and a mouth turned up in this grin…with teeth as sharp as knives. I scream and that brings me out of sleep. I begin to panic as I wake up. Then I hear it, not in my dream…in reality…a laugh that turns into a growl…safe to say, I was freaked out. I had been dealing with similar things my entire life, but this time it came out of left field, I didn’t expect it.
Months went by, and this nightmare kept coming, each time would be a bit different, each time I’d wake up and experience something in reality. But most recently this past weekend, it came at me a little different. I had the nightmare as per usual, and was in a pretty deep sleep. Suddenly, I wake up, alert, staring at my ceiling and actually said out loud ‘What the fuck? That’s not my ceiling…’ I thought I was still in the dream. I blinked and realized I was awake. The bedroom was unnaturally dark and I had the distinct feeling something was wrong. I felt like I was being watched. I stared into the hallway leading out of the bedroom, and there it was…the nightmare figure from my dreams.
I blinked again and it was gone. I got up, turned on all the lights, and investigated the home, thinking someone had broken in or something, because there was no way that what I just saw was real. There’s no way my nightmares had become reality. Right…?
So, that’s the most recent experience I had. There are many, many more, each more terrifying. I have tons of questions about what it is I’m experiencing…but the biggest question of all is this; am I haunted, or am I losing my sanity…?
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