Journals: This Is the End
This is it…this is what it’s all been coming down to. This deep darkness, this void that lives inside of me, gnawing on my very sanity…this is the reason it exists. I’ve suppressed the voice for now; it can’t tell me what to do anymore. I’m making my own decisions, doing things the way I would want to. So, I guess this is my confession or my last will or whatever you want to call it.
There’s been times when I’ve felt so alone…I’ve felt that life was utterly meaningless. No one was around to help lift me up. No, wait, that’s not true. Some people did try. But the pain, the fear, the sadness and the loneliness, it was too much of a burden to bear. It just weighed down on me, broke me. I found myself in the bathroom with a knife…but I couldn’t do it. I guess I’m a coward. That’s probably why I let Doc into my life. Oh, you don’t think I know who and what you are, Doc? I’ve known ever since I saw the weird writing. I’ve known that our ‘sessions’ were all inside of my head. You’re a fucking fake, you’re a fucking predator. You saw weakness and thought, “oh, there’s a tasty morsel for me to chew on.” And I gotta admit, at first, I liked it. I enjoyed our little excursions…the white mask, the knife made of the purest materials I’d ever seen…
But all of that is over now. No, the authorities aren’t onto ‘Us’, I just know for a fact that all of this has been leading down a road of revenge that I couldn’t have done without you, Doc. All of the people who’ve wronged me…both past and present…are getting what they deserved. But we’re not through, oh no, we haven’t reached the end just yet.
This marks my 20-year anniversary since graduating high school. You, dear reader, remember those years, don’t you? Ah, teen romances, studying for finals, graduation, dances, prom…I never got to enjoy any of that. I’ll tell you why because this is my confession. This is me explaining why we’re here today.
High school was fucking Hell for me. I was bullied. I was beaten. I was ignored. I was wronged. I was alone. There wasn’t anyone out there to protect me, to befriend me…And when they did, it was all a part of their sick fucking games to screw with my head. Even now, as an adult, these same pieces of shit are out there, insulting me, trying to throw me further into the void…that pit that I’ve carried with me ever since. I think that’s when I finally realized humanity was a fucking mistake. Every little human on this planet is a twisted, disgusting thing…an abomination…just like Doc. I wanted to destroy everything, every single fucking thing on this Earth…
I know now that that’s wrong. My mind was twisted, sad, angry…I needed an outlet and I didn’t have one. Until I allowed Doc into my soul…I was nothing. I was weak. High school made me weak. After high school, I was still weak. No one acknowledged me, accepted me, praised me, loved me…But Doc…Doc did. Doc cared and gave me strength. And through that strength, I learned how to suppress Doc, to only call upon Doc when I need to. But lately, I don’t really need Doc anymore. A perfect possession, I believe they call it. When the host ultimately absorbs the possessing spirit…fusing both the evil spirit within their soul, becoming one being.
I’m not really an ‘I’ anymore. Now? Now I’m an ‘Us’…and we are through being weak.
It’s been a long time coming…20 fucking years…but we’re finally going back to where it started. We’re finally going to become truly free of this void. We’re going to let the whole fucking world see what we are. The screams of those trapped inside the gymnasium echoes through the hallways of this pathetic school. But we can’t hear them. We’re already outside…setting fire to the place. The gas that was seeping into the building will make the fire spread. No survivors, in the class of 2000.
It’s been a pleasure, dear readers. We have some more work to do. But for these people that have wronged us all our lives? It is most certainly, the end…
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