Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead
I was provided an ARC via Netgalley for Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily Austin.
This was a book that strayed from my usual reading material. I found myself drawn to it because I had my own personal experiences with the Catholic Church, feeling like an imposter, all while combatting an anxiety disorder. I really think I found what I was looking for.
The general storyline follows Gilda, who accidentally joins a Catholic Church as their secretary after their last one died mysteriously. Gilda hides her mental anguish and that she is a lesbian from the Church, and finds herself drawn to the last secretary's e-mails and life so much that she tries to figure out how she died. We learn about Gilda's alcoholic brother, parents who are in denial, and Gilda's girlfriend, Eleanor.
Full disclosure: this is no book. It is a window into the mind of Gilda: an atheist, lesbian woman struggling with mental illness. Much like the human mind, there is no real linear timeframe here. Everything is dispensed through her perspective and thought processes, whether she is looking at the past, present, or catastrophizing future events. She often derails into the most terrible imaginings due to her depression, anxiety, and personal identity issues. She feels so strongly about the people she sees and reads about, that she often finds herself crying and feeling loss where she did not experience any real connection. Her thoughts are also funny and endearing. I felt like I was reading my own journal for so much of this book that it was almost startling; it so accurately portrays some of the thoughts and feelings I've personally experienced.
This story is really a ride-along with Gilda through a short period of her life. There is no real resolution, no fully formed beginning or end, just a piece of her existence that we pop in and out of. While this type of writing might not be for everyone due to its 'scattered thought' format, I certainly enjoyed it a lot. I connected with it very deeply. It made me feel less alone in my life experiences, and I think that is exceptional.
This book comes out July 6th, 2021.
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