American Horror Story Apocalypse Episode Seven Recap
So, Episode 6 was a lot to take in. We learned A LOT. Episode 7, Traitor, was not as in depth but a lot happened so let’s dive right in to this weeks American Horror Story RECAP!
We all remember the lovely vicious Marie Laveau as the OG Voodoo Queen from AHS Coven. And we all remember how she ended up. This season we learn the newest Voodoo Queen is in fact Dinah Stevens. She spends her time working for very wealthy folks, doing voodoo spells for them.
This particular wealthy woman has a cheating husband. So, Dinah kills the mistress, rips out her heart, and then pops it in a blender along with some strawberries and force feeds it to the cheating husband.
“Tell all your friends the Voodoo Queen can fix all your problems.”
As Dinah is leaving the house Cordelia shows up and asks her to help her call on the Voodoo Devil, Papa Legba. For the low low price of $100K cash, Dinah will do it.
We cut to a great 80’s style horror movie called “A Christmas to Dismember” and we get to see Bubbles (Joan Collins) return. In the movie she gets a Christmas gift from her husband, it’s flats. He says he feels inadequate when she wears heels. So, she slices his throat open and kills him. Which honestly….fair enough.
Then Santa shows up and it turns out he’s actually an escaped killer on the loose. He throws a bunch of dismembered heads down the chimney and follows after.
The director calls CUT and we learn quite quickly that one of Bubbles’ main powers is that she can read minds. Madison shows up on set and it turns out Bubbles used to be in the coven but left to follow her acting craft. Madison lets her know she’s been summoned.
“Get your broom.”
Cut to a super fun dinner that I wish I was a part of. Madison, Bubbles and Myrtle just drinking white wine and cosmopolitans and gabbing. Turns out Myrtle and Bubbles grew up together in the academy and are super close. Myrtle convinces Bubbles to help them by having dinner with her and Ariel and Baldwin so that Bubbles can find out what’s really going on. She agrees.
Then we find ourselves in the middle of a Voodoo ritual with Dinah and Cordelia who call upon Papa Legba. He arrives and is still super hard to understand with that weird voice effect that they put on him. Like…we get it…he comes from hell, he doesn’t need to sound like he’s gargling salt water. Anyway, Cordelia wants him to open the gates to hell so she can lead Michael in.
Papa Legba says he’ll do it in exchange for one of the witch’s souls. Then Nan appears. HI NAN! And Cordelia discovers what really happened to Nan in Coven. But turns out Nan fucking loves hell. She gets to torture people and party and basically have the best time. Cordelia refuses to give one of her girls’ soul to the Voodoo Devil and so he’s like byeeee bitch. Dinah is furious and said Cordelia had one shot and she blew it.
Mallory is back! Beautiful, perfect, baby cinnamon role Mallory. She’s asking about how the supreme works and Zoe lets her know that Michael won’t become a supreme until Cordelia dies. Then Coco busts in and is all I HAVE A NEW POWER! Now not only can she tell you if there’s gluten in your food, she can also tell you how many calories it has. AMAZING. Then she chokes on a bit of cake and basically dies.
Mallory, using her powers, cuts her throat open and removes the piece of food and brings her back to life. It was SUPER gross. Like….I gagged.
Cordelia is not having a great time, she’s getting weaker and weaker. Zoe tells her that she believes Mallory is the true supreme. Which…to Zoe’s credit…she’s said it a few times. Cordelia is just really bad at listening.
Cut to the glorious dinner that is Myrtle, Bubbles, Ariel and Baldwin. Bubbles quickly reads their minds while Myrtle stokes their dumb egos. Bubbles discovers that John Henry was murdered and the ultimate goal is to kill all the witches. I kind of love that Ariel is just sitting at dinner thinking about his grand plan. He has no chill.
Now we jump to ANOTHER dinner….I’m seeing a theme here guys…and it’s all the witches and Chablis at the academy. Mallory is worried that she’s killing Cordelia, and Cordelia is all…it’s cool. We also learn that Cordelia brought Myrtle back to life two years prior because she sensed there was danger coming. I’m not really sure what the point of this scene was. BUT IT HAPPENED.
Cordelia finally feels like it’s time to get shit done and fire the first shot. The witches go to the gas station where Ms. Mead murdered John Henry. Zoe brings back his ashes and Mallory brings him back to life. Which is super helpful not only because now John Henry can tell them what happened, but also Mallory by accident completed the seven wonders or whatever that was called. So, it’s official – this bitch is the next supreme. See….it could never be a man…DUH.
Cordelia orders Coco to go find Ms. Mead. So, she tracks her down in a grocery story and confronts her in the parking lot. But Ms. Mead is smarter than that and promptly shoots Coco in the chest with a tranquilizer gun. SHE JUST KEEPS A TRANQUILIZER GUN IN HER CAR. Ms. Mead is kind of the best? But unfortunately for her, the academy was ready, so the guards pick her up and take her off.
Meanwhile, in the boy’s academy. Ariel and Baldwin are being super extra cackling over some powder that Baldwin invented. It only affects women and slowly kills them by making them bleed through their pores.
Cordelia and the coven bust in and are all like YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST, THAT POWDER IS DUMB, WE CAUGHT YOU IN A LIE. She seals their lips shut and those two along with Ms. Mead are taken to the stake.
They’re tied up and John Henry lights the flame, killing Ariel, Baldwin and Ms. Mead.
Ms. Mead gets super dramatic and starts yelling about Satan and then laughs her way into death.
Goals.
And that’s it! Episode seven is done and dusted. Episode 8 looks like we head back into Michael’s story and Evan Peters is playing a THIRD character, this time with a terrible haircut. I’m stoked!
