Black Christmas and the Importance of PG-13 Horror
It’s easy to discount PG-13 horror movies as being nothing but cash-grabbing cop-outs trying to squeeze a few bucks out of young teens whose parents won’t let them see “real” horror. But to dismiss these films out of hand means dismissing some truly innovative, surprisingly scary stuff. You’re doing a disservice to yourself and to the industry you love. I think we can all agree that the horror genre does some of its best work under constraints – whether they be budgetary, marketability, or something else. With the release of Sophia Takal’s PG-13 remake of the 1974 (and decidedly R-rated) Black Christmas on December 13, now seems like as good a time as any to remind you that the rating is not necessarily indicative of the movie’s quality.
To give you a little background, the PG-13 rating didn’t even exist until July 1, 1984. Before that there were G, M (Mature audiences, but anybody can buy tickets), R (Restricted to persons 16 plus, unless accompanied by an adult – this was later bumped to 17), and X (which became NC-17 since X became inextricably linked with porn in the minds of many). M later became PG, and eventually PG-13 was created to indicate that although the film didn’t quite warrant an R, it was just a little bit too intense to fit within the confines of that PG rating. At least according to an article in Time magazine, we have either Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, or Gremlins to thank (or maybe both), although they both squeaked in under the PG header, with the Patrick Swayze classic Red Dawn being the inaugural PG-13 film in August of ‘84.
Since then, there have been plenty of quality, scary PG-13 horror films. For example, 2009’s Drag Me to Hell (and if you’re going to argue about this one, do me a solid and save it – I’m not going to try to explain fun things to you), or those mega-popular Insidious movies, A Quiet Place, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Cat’s Eye, Critters, or Tremors 2? Should I go on? (No) Because I could. There have been a lot of them, and they’ve been anywhere from terrible to great, just like R- or Un-rated horror movies have been. That rating doesn’t determine the quality of the narrative, the acting, or the world building. It just makes sure that it’s a little tougher for young people to see things their little brains might not yet be ready to process. And even still, they can go see the hard stuff with their parents anyway, so it’s not like they’re being banned from any other type of horror. This is just the introductory stuff, you know?
Now, I understand that with Black Christmas in particular, we were all a little extra bummed that they’re remaking and presumably toning down a beloved classic, but I ask that you please indulge me for just a few more sentences. Consider this: this movie isn’t for you. It’s for your kids (or your neighbor’s kids – whatever, you know what I mean). We already got our Black Christmas – and it’s bloody, and scary, groundbreaking, and wonderful. But I think that rather than being mad that it’s happening (and it is, no matter how pissed off anybody is about it – that train has left the station), we should be happy that a new generation is getting an updated version that will hopefully resonate with them the way the original resonated with us older folks. And hopefully seeing the made-for-younger-audiences version will drive them to want to seek out the original – when they’re age appropriate, of course.
And for those weird eggs out there bitching about the “feminist agenda,” or “woke culture,” I’ve got nothing for you bruh – I mean, did you even see the original?
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