Killer Mermaid - Brooding Fisherman, European Dance Songs, and a Nazi Prison OH MY
“From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...”
Listen to me…..you need to see Killer Mermaid like right now. Let me tantalize you for a second:
European dance song with the lyrics, “let’s have a dark sea adventure”, boobs in the first 4 minutes but also the only boobs seen the whole time, nazi prison, a brooding fisherman that I fell in love with, dancing and drinking montage to another European dance song, dark backstories, killing people with an anchor, a woman who is supposed to be American but has a Russian accent and wears American flag shorts, a dude named Boban…..
ARE YOU SOLD YET?
NO?
THERE’S ALSO A KILLER MERMAID!
Killer Mermaid aka Nymph is a Serbian horror flick directed by Milan Todorovic, and stars Kristina Klebe, Franco Nero, Natalie Burn, Dragan Mićanović, Miodrag Krstović, Slobodan Stefanović, Sofija Rajović, and Zorana Kostić Obradović. It premiered in 2014 and is currently streaming on amazon prime.
Premise:
We open on a couple on vacation, but quickly the man is lured into the sea by a siren song, and the young woman, topless, stands there screaming. But she’s not safe either, a figure wearing fisherman boots kills her with an anchor. BOOM. Let’s start the main story:
Kelly and Lucy arrive from America to Montenegro to meet their college friend Alex. He is with his fiancé Yasmin. There’s some awkwardness as Alex and Lucy dated in college, but Alex didn’t tell Yasmin that. Baby, we got bad blood. BUT the four are determined to have a good vacation. They meet up with a friend of Yasmins called Boban, but you can call him Bob, and the four decide to go to the island of Mamula where an abandoned nazi prison sits.
Before they go though they are warned by a brooding old fisherman not to trespass on that abandoned prison as it was a concentration camp run by nazis and breeds nothing but trouble.
They don’t listen, because duh, and quickly run into some pretty bad luck almost as soon as they arrive.
What did I love: (full spoilers)
Okay, look, I have a certain type of man I’m attracted to. But you know when Dean Pelton in Community watches a video of a man dressed as a Dalmatian sensually dancing and says to himself, I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me. The minute Niko arrived on screen in this movie I said the same thing, I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me. Alas, it did. Look, Niko spends the first half of the movie broodingly staring off into the water, dressed in his fisherman boots, his salty grey beard, his cap tucked tightly, shadowing his eyes. I fell in love. And when he randomly interrupts our leads conversation to tell them to stay the fuck away from that abandoned prison, muttering to himself; “That island is drenched in blood.” I was hooked. That’s a fishing pun. Then he’s gone for awhile and I felt an emptiness in me. But of course, he comes and saves the day at the end. And oh boy does he save the damn day – he throws a small net over the killer mermaid which somehow immediately stops her and then he stabs her dead. And I was smitten. Niko is the best part of this movie and I will literally fist fight anyone who says differently.
Speaking of Niko, the ending of this movie is fucking amazing. WHY ARE THERE NOT MORE SEQUELS? SOMEONE TAKE MY MONEY!!! As Niko stabs the killer mermaid and she dies in her lovers arms, Niko’s ex-bff (look, this is a long and complex story – just watch it), what seems to be like 50 mermaids answer her last siren song and are headed for the harbor of Montenegro. Kelly and Niko stand side by side, covered in blood, ready to take on this ARMY OF KILLER MERMAIDS. Great place to end if there were 7 more sequels starring Niko. But alas, there is not. Someone help me set up a kickstarter.
The setting is fucking dope. Let’s talk about Mamula Island cause this is a very real and very horrible place. Built in 1853 it was an Austro-Hungarian military fort. But during World War II it became a concentration camp until 1942. Mussolini used the island to house thousands of POW and it was considered a “den of cruelty and torture” with at least 130 deaths. The island is now owned by a Swiss Investment firm who have a 49 year lease. In this story, Niko and his unnamed friend (known as The Guardian) helped to build an underground tunnel from the island to the mainland. During this they were attacked by a mermaid who left only Niko alive. Except – she actually also left The Guardian alive and the two of them now live in Mamula. The Guardian kills people for her, chops them up, and feeds them to her. They are very much in love. When The Guardian kills Niko’s daughter (the opening sequence) Niko realizes his ex-friend is very much alive and a murderer.
So, yeah, this movie is really great. The mermaid doesn’t show up until over an hour in and you don’t even care cause you’re having tones of fun. When she does show up it’s pretty cool. There’s some questionable CGI put on the mermaid when she goes all angry and evil. And the climax of the movie is quite ridiculous and kind of hard to keep track of.
BUT the very ending is great, Niko is great, I’m super into old fishermen now, and honestly that was a great experience.
Look, if you wanted I Know What You Did Last Summer to have more beards and more mermaids, or The Lighthouse to have less mermaid vaginas and more blood…..Killer Mermaid is for you.
Highly recommend for a ridiculously good time!
Don’t want to miss anything on the site? Sign up for our newsletter HERE
Want more deep sea terror? Just search below:
