Let Me In By Lorenzo Moscato
Doc says I have to keep writing these journals down, thinks it’ll help me with my lapses in memory, that I’ll discover something hidden away or some shit. So far, it’s not working too well. I wake up in strange places, find strange things on my dresser or whatever. The other day I found myself in a cemetery, no idea how I got there. Fresh grave in front of me and everything. And there’s this weird whisper…
‘L..m…n…’
It even shows up in my journals sometimes. I can barely make it out…but it’s there. I’ve also been seeing weird shit, mostly out of the corner of my eye…like a quick movement or something. Tried focusing on whatever it was but there’s never anything there. Maybe my co-workers are right, maybe I’m just stressed. Work has been getting worse lately, people have been treating me pretty badly there. I just feel so…weak…
‘Le…me…n…’
Some days I just don’t have the energy to get out of bed, but I can’t afford to miss work. Too many sick days have been used already and I really need this job. Just wish the people around me didn’t make me so…angry. There’s a rage inside me. Something bubbles to the surface. I feel like hurting someone, sometimes even just hurting myself. And then there’s the nightmares…
‘Let…me…in…’
Just last night…I dreamed I was in an alley, following someone, looked like a man. Not sure of his age, but he didn’t look too much older than I did. He was just some random dude, probably on his way home or something. I caught a glimpse of myself in the window of a passing car. I had a black hoodie on and was wearing some weird mask, but it wasn’t plastic or rubber like you see on Halloween…
‘Let me in.’
This mask looked like it was carved from something, had some weird symbols I couldn’t identify. It was white, sure, but like was made from ivory? Some kind of white wood? I dunno. Anyway, I follow this guy for a bit, then he notices I’m there and stops. I stop too…maybe about 10 feet away from him, on the platform of the subway. I think he led me here…
‘Let. Me. In.’
And there’s that fucking whispering…like it’s just behind my ear…like…I can’t explain it. And the guy turns around and he looks right at me. I can’t make out what he’s saying but he starts walking towards me, cussing at me, trying to threaten me. I see the guy pull a blade out, looks like a switchblade and he’s still yelling at me. I don’t move towards him, but I pull my hands out of my pockets. He stops when he sees it, a long dagger-like knife in my hand…
‘Let. Me. In.’
He rushes me but I’m too quick for this guy. It was like watching a kung-fu movie…I block his attack easily enough and then counter with my other hand, plunging my own sharp, wicked blade deep into his neck. He stumbles back, clutching his throat and trying to stop the blood, but I got the artery, I know I did. I can feel myself smiling under the mask. He falls, a puddle forming around him as he chokes on his own crimson blood. The blood…there’s so much goddamn blood. But that’s not the end of it…
‘LETMEINLETMEIN!!!’
I carve him up…I cut into his body. He’s still alive because I can see him struggle as I gut him…I know what I’m looking for…his heart. I rip it out…that’s when I wake up. This time was in my own shower. I was naked, warm water running over me. It was weird because I remembered going to bed…how did I get in the shower? What’s going on? Who was that guy in my dream? And what was he saying? And why did I keep writing ‘let me in’ in my journal? It’s…I can’t explain it…maybe the doc can tell me. Maybe he can explain why I killed someone I had never met before…and then read about it in the morning news the next day…
‘Let me in.’
